Bad Consequences of the Tongue

(Viper-Tongued Orchid, 2010)


"Oh Allaah

do not punish me for
what they say about me and
make good that which they
conject about me, and
forgive me for that
which they do not know about me."

Ameen.


*dua of Abdulilah Ibn Rabah Lahmami as-Salafi, translator of Sheikh Ahmad Zamzami's advice on "The Bad Consequences of the Tongue"

Dreary Monday ... and Thoughts About Water

As Salaamu Alaikum and Greetings of Peace to All Who May Read Me Today!

It rained like crazy last night, and is still raining a bit as a I write. To most people, rain makes for a dreary day. We complain that the bad weather keeps us indoors, preventing us from enjoying the sunshine.

But the Muslim doesn't, or shouldn't, complain about rain because we know that rain is a mercy from Allah swt.

Allah swt tells us in the Qur'an, An-Nur: 43, "See you not that Allah drives the clouds gently, then joins them together, then makes them into a heap of layers."

(Rain clouds dissipating over the Sea of Marmara in Istanbul, Turkey, shortly after Shuruq)

After the clouds, comes the rain.

"It is He Who sends down water from the sky, and with it We bring forth vegetation of all kinds." Al-An'am: 99

(Tomatoes from my 2009 harvest, Masha Allah!)

It is supposed to rain here on and off for a few days, but toward the end of the week, we are expecting warm temperatures and sunshine, Insha Allah. I am so excited for my flowers to come up. The other day, I was driving in "town" and there were daffodils everywhere. Mine are still in bud.

("Morning Drink" - My orchid after getting its morning spritz)

We had a lot of snow in the northeast United States, so we don't have the drought conditions that we have occasionally had due to lack of abundant snow over the winter. Actually, in some areas, like New Jersey, they have had severe flooding lately.

But for the most part, the Muslim welcomes rain storms that fill the rivers, lakes, streams, oceans, seas, and reservoirs.

(Seagulls over the Bosporus, Istanbul, Turkey)

Allah swt tells us, "He it is Who sends down water from the sky; from it you drink." An-Nahl: 10

Outside of my office window at the prison Chapel, there is a beautiful fruit tree. The inmates are not permitted to eat from that tree (sound familiar, lol?!), but they do. The tree has such beautiful, fragrant blossoms, Masha Allah. He said,

"See you not that Allah sends down water from the sky, and we produce therewith fruits of various colors." Fatir: 27

One of my sisters in Islam lives about a half an hour from me, and her husband planted beautiful fruit trees in their yard. The sister makes jams and preserves which are very good, Alhamdulillah.

I have roto-tilled my old garden behind my garage, and have extended it clear across my property. The new area will get more sunshine, and it will also give me the opportunity to plant more. I bought a nice chest freezer and put it in the garage last year. So, Insha Allah, more vegetables and herbs to freeze and to share with neighbors and friends!

In the current issue of National Geographic, they have highlighted many of the global water problems.

A number of these problems exist in Muslim lands ... Palestine, Syria, Jordan ... countries in Africa, etc.

The problems are caused by water-wars, droughts, and pollution, etc. Many people around the globe would fall on their knees and thank Allah swt for rain.

Next time you are faced with a rainy day, grab a cup of coffee or tea and your Qur'an, and go sit on your porch glider and give thanks to Allah swt.

... just some thoughts on a not-so-dreary rainy Monday morning by a grateful Muslim!

(Coastal masjid along the Bosporous in Istanbul, Turkey)

Truth and Consequences: The Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy

(Reminder: my photography is copyrighted and cannot be used without my permission. Hint: if you ask and attribute me, I'll probably tell you "yes" you can use my work!)

Last night, I attended a lecture at Susquehanna University on the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" (DADT) policy and its consequences on men and women in the US military and our country as a whole.

The guest speaker was US Army Lt. Daniel Choi, West Point graduate, Arabic linguist, Iraq veteran, and activist for the repeal of the DADT policy.

When Lt. Choi "came out" on The Rachel Maddow Show by publically announcing, "I am gay," the Army notified him one month later that they were beginning discharge proceedings against him.

Since then, Lt. Choi has been a tireless advocate for the repeal of the DADT policy. He appears on television, gives lectures, and participates in public demonstrations, and as of late, engages in civil disobedience as evidenced by his arrest last week for chaining himself to the White House fence.

"The DADT policy is the common term for the policy restricting the United States military from efforts to discover or reveal closeted gay, lesbian, and bisexual service members or applicants, while barring those that are openly gay, lesbian, or bisexual from military service. The restrictions are mandated by federal law... the policy prohibits anyone who 'demonstrate(s) a propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts' from serving in the armed forces of the United States, because 'it would create an unacceptable risk to the high standards of morale, good order and discipline, and unit cohesion that are the essence of military capability'... the act prohibits any homosexual or bisexual person from disclosing his or her sexual orientation or from speaking about any homosexual relationships, including marriages or other familial attributes, while serving in the United States armed forces." (from lecture program)

Lt. Choi and others believe that it is time to hold President Obama to his campaign promise to end DADT.

Numerous foreign armies, including Britain and Israel, have integrated openly gay people into their ranks with little negative effect on effectiveness and recruitment. In Britain, this change was a result of an order from the European Court of Human Rights. Gay partners are now afforded full benefits.

What about the US? America? Land of the free and home of the brave? Where all citizens are guaranteed the right to freedom and happiness?

If the partner of a gay American military person dies overseas, the partner is not even notified by the military, yet alone given any benefits!

America: where a gay Mississippi high school student, Constance McMillan, was barred from taking her girlfriend to the prom?

Hello?! Most of us can remember being at high school dances and proms and going with another girl (or your big brother or cousin, lol) because we couldn't get a date with a boy. No one said anything about it.

And it's probably still okay in a lot of situations -- unless you TELL that your female friend is actually your lesbian girlfriend.

Why should gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered (GLBT) people be harrassed and discriminated against, have their human and civil rights taken away in a country like America?!

Why should GLBT be fired from jobs or have their child custody challenged because of their sexual preference?

Why are identity politics such a big deal in our beautiful United States?

At a time, when America is engaged in two wars, at a time when the forces and their families are stretched by multiple deployments, etc., why should we be denying otherwise qualified military applicants from serving soley on them being truthful about their sexual identity?

It just doesn't make sense. It just a'int right!

No matter where you personally stand, no matter what your personal position is, you have to admit that it is a national shame in a great country like America to have a military policy such as DADT.

Hasn't this country been here before? Excluding folks from the military based on identity politics? Blacks? Women? Japanese? All people with criminal records no matter what their crime is?

As Muslims, we know that our deen tells us that homosexuality is not an option for us. The only "halal" sex between Muslims is that between a married man and his wife/wives.

DADT is an Islamic concept in a way. After all, most Muslims know it is bad adab (manners) to ask someone something deeply personal or something that the person might not want to discuss, reveal, or have known about himself.

Allah swt also tells us in the Qur'an not to reveal our "sins" to anyone else. He promises us His mercy and forgiveness as long as we don't "lift the veil" in the morning by talking about it.

And of course, there are NO LGBT MUSLIMS now, are there?!!!! I'm sure there are no LGBT Muslims serving in the Muslim-populated countries' military forces now, are there?!!!

Of course not! LOL!

As Muslims, we know that no one has the right to oppress anyone ... for any reason.

Allah swt even prohibited oppression for Himself!

Finally, you don't have to be LGBT to have a "propensity or intent to engage in homosexual acts." Remember Abu Ghrayb? Or ask anyone who is incarcerated who is "gay for the stay."

As Muslims, we stand up for justice. It's not just for our government to oppress any of its citizens for any reason. It can be us (Muslims) next. Think they're keeping an eye on Muslim service men and women after what Major Hasan did?!

Congratulations and thanks to Susquehanna University, The Gender & Sexuality Alliance, Susquehanna University College Democrats, and The Center for Diversity and Social Justice for sponsoring Lt. Choi's lecture, and for making it free and open to the public.

The reception, coffee, brownies, and cookies at the end weren't bad either :)

Intrusive Photography?

(Disclaimer: Please do not turn this post into a negative religious debate about photography. If you do, I will delete your comment.)

I took the above photograph in the women's section of the Blue Mosque in Istanbul, Turkey.

I think it is a touching and beautiful photograph. I especially like the little boy sitting in the window waiting for his mom. I posted it to one of my Flickr groups and a sister left the following comment:

"I think it is a speacial connection between the person and alaha we should not inteuup this realtionship"

I felt hurt when I read her comment. To be more accurate, it pushed my shame button.

When I take photographs of this nature, I usually stand a distance off, and bring the photograph nearer in the editing process. I also turn off my flash, and put my camera on "museum mode" so that no shutter click is heard. Unless someone physically sees me take the picture, no one knows it is being taken. Therefore, I don't think I was interrupting anything.

I am not a papperatzi (spelling, lol?) who sticks my camera in the faces of people. As a matter of fact, I do frequently ask people if I may photograph them in certain instances (like when I photographed the Turkish police, lol).

I believe the camera is like another "eye" in the room. It capture what I see with my own set of eyes.

Is the masjid "hands off" for picture taking?

Is it in bad taste to photograph someone while they're in prayer with their Rabb?

I think the sister's comment pushed a button in me because it reminds me of some of the criticism I have received in my writing.

I feel the same way when someone tells me what I should write or not write.

Photojournalism has always been my strength, Masha Allah. When I first became a Muslim, I gave up photojournalism until later in my deen when I became convinced that there is nothing wrong with photographing people. I came to this conclusion after examining all of the evidence from respected Muslims.

But, why not photograph Muslims in the beautiful act of communication with Allah swt?

There are so many images of Muslims involved in violence and other haraam. I think my Istanbul street photography is a refreshing change.

Your thoughts?

Istanbul

We're back! And I spent most of this past week recovering from my awesome experience.

I took incredible photographs which I've been posting to my Flickr site a few at a time. The above shot was taken while we were waiting on the boat to leave for a tour by way of the Bosphorous Sea.

Insha Allah this coming week I will write a post about the whole trip. In the meantime, check me out at Flickr if you want.

Aquarium and Sea World Shows

As Salaamu Alaikum and Greetings of Peace:

Well, I'm all packed and ready to leave for Istanbul tomorrow morning, Insha Allah! My cats are sitting on my suitcases as I write this, Alhamdulillah, breaking my heart! How I will miss them while I'm gone!

I am so grateful to our hosts (more on this later) for inviting us to their wonderful city, and for preparing a great itinerary for us while we're there.

But, before I leave, I'd like to say a little something about the tragic death of Sea World trainer, Dawn Brancheau, who died while working with the whale "Tilikum."

I pray that Allah swt grant peace to the family of Ms. Brancheau in their mourning, and guide them to the Straight Path/Ameen.

No matter where someone stands on the subject of places like Sea World, everyone can acknowledge the horrible situation of the animals in our seas, lakes, ponds, rivers, and so on. Habitat changes, environmental changes, pollution of waters, and hunting, etc., all man-made offenses, have taken a tremendous toll on aqua life.

As a lover of Allah swt's nature, I have enjoyed many a programs on National Geographic where they take people out on boat tours where they can see the whales and dolphins jumping up and swimming in the wild. How I wish I could afford to experience that!

But I did go once to the National Aquarium in Baltimore, MD. While we were there, we went to a dolphin show.

This occurred at a time in my life when I was separated from my husband, and experiencing a lot of depression and sadness.

Let me tell you, when those magestic dolphins jumped up out of the water and did their flips and such, I experienced a JOY that I have not felt since childhood. I was acutely aware of the emotion. I remember how a lump rose to my throat, and "oohs" and "aahs" escaped from my lips in a manner beyond my control. I sat there on that bleacher seat in the Aquarium and tears just streamed down my face.

I am, to this day, painfully aware that I seldom experience true JOY and ECSTACY in my life!

I don't know why. I have much to be grateful for. Allah swt is truly merciful and generous to me, Subhan'Allah.

Perhaps gratitude to Allah swt is a conscious decision! The intention made each day, to appreciate the joy and blessings that come our way.

Even when supposedly "bad" things happen to us, there is still a benefit in it from Allah swt.

Sometimes Allah swt takes things or people out of our lives. At the time, we may not understand the wisdom behind it.

Sometimes He does for us what we can't do for ourselves, Alhamdulillah.

How you will thank Allah swt today? (See you in a few weeks Insha Allah!)

iPhone Photography

Masha Allah, I absolutely LOVE my new iPhone! The camera on the 3G iPhone exceeds my expectations.

This is a shot of one of my cats, Hawaa. She's a tortoiseshell, or "tortie," as some people call cats with this kind of coat. Her coat is mixed with warm colors: greys, creams, reds, browns, greys ... and just look at her pale green eyes! She and her brother, Samir, were born in Masjid Ikhwa, Brooklyn, NY.

Insha Allah I am leaving for Istanbul this coming weekend. So I probably won't be posting much except for some photography until I get back.

Insha Allah I'll have great shots of Istanbul and a lot to tell you about our trip. I am told that Istanbul is one of the most visually stimulating cities in the world. Everyone who has ever been there lights up when I tell them we're going!

Verizon - We Want You Back! LOL

"Come back today and get up to $100 off any phone or device when you sign up for any calling plan $55 monthly access or higher. Or get up to $50 off any phone or device when you sign up for a calling plan $39.99 monthly access or higher. With a new 1 or 2 year activation. Nowhere else can you get America's Largest and Most Reliable 3G Network connecting you to the people, information and entertainment you want with the latest technology. Switching back is easy. Call xxxxx and take advantage of this exclusive offer."

Now see! What did I tell you?!

Why didn't they just work with me in the first place, lol?

Verizon - You Suck! I LOVE MY iPHONE!!!

What's in a Name?

I've been noticing a trend among some Muslim writers. In magazines. Online articles. Books.

Allah swt is being referred to simply as "God."

The other day, my copy of Yahiya Emerick's "A Journey Through the Holy Qur'an" arrived. I was very excited to receive it because it has received great reviews by some Muslims. May Allah swt reward Brother Yahiya because his effort was almost 10 years in the making.

Brother Yahiya's books about Islam have helped a lot of Muslims, especially new Muslims. A quick review of his new effort reveals that "A Journey Through the Holy Qur'an" will probably help a lot of Muslims to understand the Qur'an. It is written in very simple English.

But he refers to Allah swt as "God."

This, I don't like.

Why do Muslims do this? Allah swt does not refer to Himself as God. He refers to Himself as "Allah," i.e., Al-Lah. The God. The One. The Unique. There is none like Him. He is different from any God or god(s). This is the essence of tawheed and Islam.

So why use a name for Him that is like the name that others use to refer to their Higher Power?

What's the big deal you may ask. Some claim it's good dawah. Others claim the use of "God" is simply English translation. But I disagree.

We are Muslims. Why not call Him what He calls Himself in the Qur'an?

Have you ever heard an imam refer to Allah swt as "God?"

Have you ever heard a khutbah where the name "God" was used for Allah swt?

So why, I wonder, do some Muslims have no problem using "God" when writing?

I knew a Muslim sister who had a son named Yacoob. When he started pre-school, she told the teacher that his name is Jacob. Why name your kid Yacoob if you're going to have everyone call him Jacob? Why not name him Jacob in the first place? Jeez.

Brother Yahiya does encourage everyone to learn Arabic and to read the Qur'an in Arabic to get the full and rich meaning. But I just don't understand why he chose to use "God" instead of Allah swt?

Maybe I'll ask him :)

What a Day!

I intended to wake up and get a few things accomplished. For one, I have to put my contract together for my chaplain position. I am waiting for an endorsement letter from my imam to come in the mail so I can put everything together and turn it in.

But ...

No mail today. It's President's Day.

And thus went my plans to go to the bank, and to mail my completed tax returns at the post office.

Arggg.

So, I decided to do something about my smart phone.

I had a Blackberry Curve:

I really liked this phone, and it served my purpose. But with my MS and resulting fine motor control problems, it was a nightmare to send a text message or email. Also, my right thumb was cramping up doing all of that scrolling up and down. So, I thought I would look into a touch screen phone.

I was only one year into my two-year contract for the phone. My husband suggested that I call Verizon and explain my problem. So, I called and ran it down to the customer service representative. I told her that MS and arthritis can impede fine motor control and also cause muscle cramping. I told her that I knew it was not time for me to get a new phone, but wasn't there something they could do for me?

Well, the bottom line was "no." Not really. The only thing they claimed they could do for me was to give me a "deal" that would have resulted in me paying $219.99 up front and after a mail-in rebate, my final cost for a touch screen Blackberry Storm would be $119.00. (I needed the Storm that was a GSM phone so I can use it overseas.)

You know, I don't know what I was thinking, but I just thought that they could have done a little better for me. I explained that my MS has progressed to the point that my current phone is nearly impossible to use.

To tell you the truth, she laid so much salesperson/marketing double-talk on me that I was so confused and couldn't grasp my "fortune" of what she was trying to describe as a "deal" for me.

I was hoping that they would make some type of exemption and renew my contract early based on medical/disability urgency. I know they don't have to do it, and it's not their fault I have issues, but ...

I then asked the salesperson how much it would cost me to break my contract. She said, "are you really willing to break your contract for that reason?"

Well yes, lady. I have been a customer of Verizon for years. My husband also has a cell phone through them, and they are our internet service provider. I have never been late or missed a payment. I know that their business is a competitive one. I still think they could have done something better for me.

A strange walking into a Verizon store would have got a better deal than what they were offering me, a loyal customer.

SO!!!

I went to AT&T and bought a 3G iPhoneI just LOVE the touch screen! It makes all the difference in the world for my hands.

So, I'm going to break the Verizon contract. I don't care that it's going to cost me an early termination fee.

I'm sorry. It's the principle for me.

I'm like that. I have said elsewhere here that customer service really means a lot to me. I think I'm a customer service representative nightmare, lol.

I also have bottled distilled water delivered to my home. A few years ago when gas prices were starting to rise, I noticed a "fuel surcharge" on my bill. It was only like 50 cents or something like that. But again ... it's the principle. I called them up and told them I wasn't going to pay it. I told them that I could not charge my employer for the increase in fuel for the cost of me doing business (i.e., going to work). They sent me bills for months with fuel surcharges on them. I nicely deleted the surcharge from the bill and sent the balance to them. They finally gave up. Now, I don't have fuel surcharges on my bill. And they never bugged me for the money. LOL, they did carry it as 90+ days overdue for awhile, but they gave up. I told them if they insisted, I would cancel with them and get another bottled water provider.

These people piss me off when they think they can screw people because they think they're the only game in town.

Blizzard 2010

Here are a few shots I've taken ... for real, I don't feel like editing the rest of them. Power keeps going in and out, making computer work a bit frustrating. But these give you an idea of what we received! All in all, it was okay as long as a person was able to stay in the house, lol. We were lucky: we only got 15 inches.

The old bathtub I use to start vegetable seeds:


Side of our front porch:

Buddy sure is a trooper, isn't he? Okay, he's a bit of a sis. I had to make the initial tracks and then he came through:

No soda sales today:

Some neighbors never clean their snow. What are you going to do?

Saudi Bakhoor

My husband brought this beautiful gift back for me when he went to Hajj, Alhamdulillah.

It's from my first attempts at light box photography.

You like?

Chronic Pain, Suicide, Physician-Assisted Suicide, Family-Assisted Suicide ...

Yusuf Smith left me this comment and I wanted to address some of what is in it in a separate post:

"As-Salaamu 'alaikum,

Have you been following the Lynn Gilderdale story here in the UK? It was about a woman who committed suicide (with her mother's help) after suffering for 17 years with ME (no, not MS). She'd been ill since she was 14 and had been bed-bound for almost all of that time. The mother was accused of attempted murder but was acquitted last week, and there has been a lot of public sympathy (although some criticism as well).

Has it received much coverage in the USA? I posted two long entries about it as, although I know nobody who has that illness, I found it affected me quite deeply, particularly reading the published extracts from her blog (which was mostly private).

Do you have any opinion on this? I know there have been some with MS who are quite vocal in support of euthanasia, particularly here in the UK; is this quite widespread or is it a few people given disproportionate coverage?"

Wa Alaikum As Salaam Dear Brother Yusuf and Everyone:

To my knowledge, this case hasn't received a lot of coverage in the US. Of course, we have had similar cases here, and there are Americans who believe that people should be able to die with "dignity" when, where, and how they choose.

You may be familiar with Dr. Jack Kevorkian, also known as the notorious "Dr. Death."




In the US, they are referred to as "right-to-die activists" and in the case of Dr. Kevorkian, "physician-assisted suicide." I'm not sure or aware of the position of the MS community.

Some people feel that the medical profession should help terminally ill patients and their families so there will not be tragic and sad cases such as the one you wrote about.

As for me personally, and my position, my life is guided in all matters by Islam, Alhamdulillah. Islam does not permit a person to wish for death, nor does Islam permit the ill person to kill himself. Further, Islam doesn't permit anyone else to do it either, including the Muslim patient's physician.

It is Allah swt Who gives life and causes death.

However, there are cases where it is Islamically permissible for a physician to remove the life-support system of a Muslim, after the physician is absolutely sure that the person is "dead." Dr. Muhammad al-Jibaly explains the details very nicely in his book, Sickness: Regulations & Exhortations, 2nd Edition. I recommend every Muslim to have this excellent book on his bookshelf, may Allah swt reward Sheikh Jibaly/Ameen.

That being said ...

I can definitely understand how a person, including a Muslim, would reach the point in his illness, whether it be a brief illness or chronic one, wherein the person would want to end his life and his suffering.

I have numerous health problems which affect my back and legs, particularly my left leg. The problems are complicated by overall MS and Arthritis. I have severe varicosity, Schamberg's disease, a back injury, peripheral neuropathy, and Restless Leg Syndrome. I also have a Baker's cyst behind my left knee which does not want to leave me (they say they dissolve by themselves, Allahu Alim). MS causes me to have severe balance issues, pain, and mental confusion. At times it affects my eyesight. I have slight tremors that make fine motor skills a nightmare. Arthritis causes severe pain and stiffness. I live with these illnesses as well as a lifelong heart valve problem and asthma one day at a time.

But there have been times where I have been severely depressed. Chronic health problems and pain can cause depression. Because I am a retired counselor, I am able to recognize when I am becoming depressed, and I do things to snap myself out of it. It is important to mention that this depression is not the same as chemical imbalance depression seen in some psychiatric disorders. However, if the human brain lives with depression or anxiety long enough, the brain will become changed because the brain tends to be an adaptogenic body part in certain cases. The challenge is not to let depression progress to the point of no return where someone may have feelings of suicide, and where the person cannot recognize that he is depressed.

Back to my left leg ...

The other day I saw a program on National Geographic called Taboo. In the particular episode I saw, they highlighted a problem that some people have which is a kind of body dysmorphic illness, but in this case, the person has issues with a limb or limbs. The one guy profiled felt since childhood that his right leg was not a part of his body. He had strong negative feelings about his right leg to the point it negatively affected all the major areas of his life. He was a very unhappy camper. Since most physicians and psychiatrists are not willing to recommend amputation for this condition on what they perceive to be ethical and moral grounds, many sufferers do something to injure the limb to the point where IT HAS TO BE AMPUTATED. Some people have gone as far as to shoot themselves in the leg or attempt to chop their own leg off, etc. Can you imagine?

(Funny how physicians have no ethical or moral problems amputating a man's penis because he feels like he is a woman. Anyhow, I digress ...)

But I found myself oddly relating to the man in the program. I thought of my own left leg. I found myself agreeing with the man. There have been times I have felt like I didn't want my left leg. Oh how nice it would be to have it gone sometimes!

What good is my left leg? After all, it is barely useful or functional. About the only use it has is for balance - and that is even SOMETIMES. I can't even make salaat on all of my limbs. Sitting back in jalsah is nearly impossible.

What use is my left leg?

It is the cause of constant excruciating pain, stiffness, burning, stinging, swelling ...

Of what use is it?

Well, all I can come up with is the each body part of mine will speak for or against me on the Last Day.

Will my left leg explain to my Lord that I was patient and tender with it? Will it tell my Lord about the times I cursed it out, lol, or wished ill of it?

So I try to remind myself that Allah swt tests me through this body and especially my left leg.

So my opinion Brother Yusuf? I would encourage a person to be patient in illness or any other hardship or trial.

I would recommend that the ill person become familiar with the signs of depression, and have a plan for dealing with it. I would also recommend that the person see a qualified pain management person. I myself go to a pain management doctor. All the medical and psychological strategies for pain we use manages to take the edge off, even though it doesn't remove the pain entirely.

I would remind the Muslim that "with every hardship comes ease" even if it's in another area, not necessarily the health area.

I would remind the person that every pain expiates sin. It also evevates the Muslim in ranks, and purifies his heart.

The Sahabah (ra) were well aware of the benefits and rewards of illness, so much that some of them wished for illness. The Prophet (saw) had to warn them against asking for illness!

So I would in the end implore Allah swt to allow me to care for myself the best I can so I do not emotionally progress to the point where I may think or suicide, or cause my body to be a trial for my family and friends.

But at the end of the day, although I don't agree, I can undersand how a person could be in so much pain that they would wish for death.

I'm just glad that I'm Muslim, Alhamdulillah, and as in all major areas of my life, I have Qur'an and Sunnah in my life for guidance in all of my affairs.

Gardening Fever

Just got these today!

No more wet, muddy socks after I'm done in the garden.

I can't wait to wear them; they look so bright, Masha Allah.

SabiWabi, eat your heart out, lol.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished? Or Child Trafficking?

I have been viewing with interest the news reports about the American Baptists accused of child trafficking in Haiti.

The news reports and many people familiar with these kinds of situations who are writing online have been warning that groups may try to exploit the situation with the children in Haiti.

News reports state that the parents of some of the children "gave" the kids to the Baptists. That they agreed for them to take the children to the Dominican Republic for a "better life." Reports say that many of the older children didn't want to go, and that they cried and objected loudly. What child wants to leave their family?

Allahu Alim.

While some of us may think it horrid that a parent would agree to "give" a child away, in some cases that action may be a loving and unselfish one. News reports from Haiti claim that many children have been "given away" by their parents, and not always to a good situation. Some children live with people who use them as domestic servants without a care to their welfare. In other cases, parents give away children with good intentions, and the kids end up in bad hands.

When I was in Puerto Rico, it was not uncommon to know of numerous related and unrelated people living together and defining themselves as "family." I personally knew of one woman who "gave" her child to a relative, and the relative referred to the child as her daughter. The mother couldn't support the child.

A nightmare for the public assistance folks, lol.

Who knows?

I am not sticking up for the Baptists, but I think it's important to let this legally play out before we jump to conclusions.

Is this case one of "confusion" about procedure as the Baptists claim? Were they just trying to do good, and help?

Can you already hear that blogosphere blowing up with posts from people who vehemently object to white people adopting black or other non-white children?

Or better yet, are the Baptists being made an example and warning for would-be child traffickers from America or elsewhere?

If they are guilty, screw them, and let the full force of the law be upon them. But if they are not, let us not judge them harshly, as we Muslims have had others judge our intentions without the full facts.

What do you think?

Racism and Ethnic Intimidation: Still Alive and Well at Denny's Restaurant?

(Above image at http://www.angryasianman.com)

This morning I went for routine fasting blood work at my doctor's office. It was 7:30 a.m. I also had an appointment scheduled for 9:00 a.m. at my doctor's travel clinic.

After I got the blood work done, I drove over to the local Denny's restaurant for breakfast and to wait for my 9:00 a.m. appointment.

When I arrived at Denny's, no one greeted me despite the fact that at least two female staff persons saw me. They walked right past me and gave me a look that suggested that they hate their jobs, or hate to get up early in the morning. Maybe both :)

So, I made my way to a table, took off my coat, and plopped down my purse, Blackberry, and notebook. I figured I'd get some work done while I was eating and waiting for the second doctor's appointment.

There was one other white lady sitting in the tables section. At the counter, there were about four or five elderly white men.

I saw at least 4 or 5 female staff. The restaurant was not full or busy at all.

After sitting a few moments, I decided to move to a more comfortable table. So, I moved to the section near the counters, still at a table.

I must have sat for at least 10 minutes and no one came to give me anything or even say hello. Ten minutes is not a long time, but it is when the restaurant is not full or busy. Trust me, there was no excuse.

The waitresses did see me because one or two walked past me and looked at me.

Then a white man came in and sat two tables in front of me. After a few moments, I looked up and saw that the waitress had brought him a glass of water with a lemon in it.

Waitresses were walking around doing things like wiping tables, re-filling coffee cups at the counter, and otherwise busying themselves in the back.

Still, no one came over to me. A waitress or two made eye contact with me, but still nothing. Not even a glass of water, or "I'll be back in a moment."

It was clear to me that these people intended not to serve me.

If I would have had more time, I would have said something because I am the type of person who highly values service. If someone gives me bad service, I will leave. And I will not give that business my money again.

And - more importantly, I know me: if I would have gotten pissed off enough, I would have made a scene. I do not believe in making scenes in public for a variety of reasons, but mainly, I try to never do anything in public that reflects poorly on Islam or Muslims. My blood pressure was sky high when I returned to the doctor's office.

I simply picked up my things (while they watched out of the sides of their eyes) and left the restaurant. I was too offended and upset to say anything to the manager. They didn't even care enough to say anything to me on my way out, "have a nice day," "oh, do you have to leave?" or anything like that.

What could possibly be the reason for them treating me like this?

Well, I am a Muslim women who wears hijab. Even though I am a white person like the other customers, some white people think that we lose our "white privilege" when we become Muslims and outwardly look Muslim (i.e., hijab, niqab, beards, sunnah clothing, etc.). I am ethnically Jewish and have a semitic look to me. Even Arabs on occasion have spoken to me in Arabic upon meeting me for the first time!

Did the staff at Denny's think I was "other" than the traditional white American?

I am not usually the type to complain about ethnic intimidation or religious discrimination based on purely being a Muslim. I have been a Muslim since 1998, Alhamdulillah, and can barely count on one hand the times I have been harassed for being Muslim, Masha Allah. I acknowledge that others have not had it so good though.

I came home ready to write about this. When I "googled" Denny's and racism, I was floored by what the search engine provided to me.

The University of Wisconsin School of Business did a study about Denny's and their history with racism and ethnic intimidation that sums it up nicely.

I'm not sure how far I'm going to take this, but I'm going to definitely "take it" a few places.

Firstly, I made sure I grabbed a customer satisfaction survey on my way out. I will mail it to the restaurant AND to the corporate Denny's. I will also send them a link to this post. And I will link this post to my Face Book.

I will not be treated like this by a local business.

Anyone have any other ideas?

Haiti: Ya Allah ...

As a person with Jewish heritage, the media images of the treatment of the bodies of deceased Haitians just sickens me.

Bodies in piles - bulldozers scooping up dead bodies, loading them into dump trucks, just dropping them at a mass grave site on the outskirts of Port-au-Prince, just leaving them there, not evening bothering to "bury" them by at least pushing dirt over their bodies ...

It reminds me of pictures from the Holocaust. At least the Nazis covered the shame of their mass graves.

And today - seeing the police TEAR GASING hungry starving people!

It's all just too much ... and I'm not even living it like the Haitians are ...

Squeeze of the Grave

Online and television images bombard the eyes with the horrific situation in Haiti after the earthquake.

Large slabs of cement can be seen everywhere in the capital city of Port-au-Prince. And many people are underneath them.

One image was particularly disturbing: it was some video that was shot moments after the earthquake hit. You could see people sticking their arms out, waving for help, from underneath collapsed buildings.

People entombed alive waiting for help. Squeezed ...

Seeing this brings thoughts to my mind of the squeeze of the grave.

The squeeze of the grave occurs after the deceased Muslim hears the thumping of his companions' shoes as they walk away from his grave.

No one is spared it. Neither Muslim or non-Muslim.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (rahimullah) said that the torment, squeezing, and terror that happens in the grave are things by means of which sins are expiated (Majmoo' Fataawa ibn Taymiyah, vol. 7, p. 487-501). (Islam-qa.com)

In his book, Life in Al-Barzakh, Muhammad al-Jibaly states:

"No human being will be spared the squeeze of the grave. However, the following hadith indicates that it is not at the same degree of severity for all people; some of the believers are released from its grip quicker than others. Ibn 'Abbas (ra) said that Allah's Messenger (saw) said:

'If anyone were to escape from the squeeze of the grave, it woud be Sa'd Bin Mu'ath; however, he was squeezed once and then released.' (At-Tabarani in al-Kabir; Sahih ul-Jami by al-Albani No. 5306)'"

Have the earthquaker victims of Haiti already had their squeeze?

May Allah (swt) spare the earthquaker victims of Haiti from excessive torment in the grave and grant them a quick squeeze/Ameen.

7.0 Earthquake in Haiti

There is breaking news that Haiti has just experienced a 7.0 earthquake with a 5.9 aftershock. It was so severe that there is a tsunami warning.

According to Islamic Finder, there is a significant Islamic community in Haiti.

Please say dua for the Muslims in Haiti, as well as everyone else there who must be terrified tonight.

How to Stiffle the Creativity of Children

The other day we had to combine our pre-school and kindergarten classes because one of the teacher's couldn't come to Sunday School.

When we have to do this, we ask that the moms come into the kindergarten class with their pre-school children because I can't watch them all at once.

The children were coloring a picture of Allah's gifts. The picture had a sky, sun, house, yard, parents, children, etc. When the kids finished, each one was supposed to take a turn and tell the others which of Allah's gifts he/she was grateful for.

One of the little boys, about 4 years old, was having a marvelous time coloring. He was smiling and scribbling with joy!

When his mom saw what he was doing, she started to say things to him like, "No, Jamil, the sun isn't green," and "No, Jamil, grass isn't red," and "Jamil, color inside of the lines."

I saw little Jamil's face do a total turnabout. He wasn't smiling anymore, and it seems like he ceased having fun. Everytime he colored something, he would look up at her to ensure that he had "done good."

I felt so sad.

Why not let the kid have fun? I know it's important to teach a child that the sun is yellow and the grass is green, but jeez, why not let the kid have fun?

I'm not a professional teacher, but even I could see that the whole objective of the coloring exercise was spoiled a bit for this little boy.

Sigh ...

Dear Readers: here's hoping that your sun is green and your grass is red - for many days to come!