Saturday, February 06, 2010
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
Chronic Pain, Suicide, Physician-Assisted Suicide, Family-Assisted Suicide ...
Yusuf Smith left me this comment and I wanted to address some of what is in it in a separate post:
"As-Salaamu 'alaikum,
Have you been following the Lynn Gilderdale story here in the UK? It was about a woman who committed suicide (with her mother's help) after suffering for 17 years with ME (no, not MS). She'd been ill since she was 14 and had been bed-bound for almost all of that time. The mother was accused of attempted murder but was acquitted last week, and there has been a lot of public sympathy (although some criticism as well).
Has it received much coverage in the USA? I posted two long entries about it as, although I know nobody who has that illness, I found it affected me quite deeply, particularly reading the published extracts from her blog (which was mostly private).
Do you have any opinion on this? I know there have been some with MS who are quite vocal in support of euthanasia, particularly here in the UK; is this quite widespread or is it a few people given disproportionate coverage?"
Wa Alaikum As Salaam Dear Brother Yusuf and Everyone:
To my knowledge, this case hasn't received a lot of coverage in the US. Of course, we have had similar cases here, and there are Americans who believe that people should be able to die with "dignity" when, where, and how they choose.
You may be familiar with Dr. Jack Kevorkian, also known as the notorious "Dr. Death."
In the US, they are referred to as "right-to-die activists" and in the case of Dr. Kevorkian, "physician-assisted suicide." I'm not sure or aware of the position of the MS community.
Some people feel that the medical profession should help terminally ill patients and their families so there will not be tragic and sad cases such as the one you wrote about.
As for me personally, and my position, my life is guided in all matters by Islam, Alhamdulillah. Islam does not permit a person to wish for death, nor does Islam permit the ill person to kill himself. Further, Islam doesn't permit anyone else to do it either, including the Muslim patient's physician.
It is Allah swt Who gives life and causes death.
However, there are cases where it is Islamically permissible for a physician to remove the life-support system of a Muslim, after the physician is absolutely sure that the person is "dead." Dr. Muhammad al-Jibaly explains the details very nicely in his book, Sickness: Regulations & Exhortations, 2nd Edition. I recommend every Muslim to have this excellent book on his bookshelf, may Allah swt reward Sheikh Jibaly/Ameen.
That being said ...
I can definitely understand how a person, including a Muslim, would reach the point in his illness, whether it be a brief illness or chronic one, wherein the person would want to end his life and his suffering.
I have numerous health problems which affect my back and legs, particularly my left leg. The problems are complicated by overall MS and Arthritis. I have severe varicosity, Schamberg's disease, a back injury, peripheral neuropathy, and Restless Leg Syndrome. I also have a Baker's cyst behind my left knee which does not want to leave me (they say they dissolve by themselves, Allahu Alim). MS causes me to have severe balance issues, pain, and mental confusion. At times it affects my eyesight. I have slight tremors that make fine motor skills a nightmare. Arthritis causes severe pain and stiffness. I live with these illnesses as well as a lifelong heart valve problem and asthma one day at a time.
But there have been times where I have been severely depressed. Chronic health problems and pain can cause depression. Because I am a retired counselor, I am able to recognize when I am becoming depressed, and I do things to snap myself out of it. It is important to mention that this depression is not the same as chemical imbalance depression seen in some psychiatric disorders. However, if the human brain lives with depression or anxiety long enough, the brain will become changed because the brain tends to be an adaptogenic body part in certain cases. The challenge is not to let depression progress to the point of no return where someone may have feelings of suicide, and where the person cannot recognize that he is depressed.
Back to my left leg ...
The other day I saw a program on National Geographic called Taboo. In the particular episode I saw, they highlighted a problem that some people have which is a kind of body dysmorphic illness, but in this case, the person has issues with a limb or limbs. The one guy profiled felt since childhood that his right leg was not a part of his body. He had strong negative feelings about his right leg to the point it negatively affected all the major areas of his life. He was a very unhappy camper. Since most physicians and psychiatrists are not willing to recommend amputation for this condition on what they perceive to be ethical and moral grounds, many sufferers do something to injure the limb to the point where IT HAS TO BE AMPUTATED. Some people have gone as far as to shoot themselves in the leg or attempt to chop their own leg off, etc. Can you imagine?
(Funny how physicians have no ethical or moral problems amputating a man's penis because he feels like he is a woman. Anyhow, I digress ...)
But I found myself oddly relating to the man in the program. I thought of my own left leg. I found myself agreeing with the man. There have been times I have felt like I didn't want my left leg. Oh how nice it would be to have it gone sometimes!
What good is my left leg? After all, it is barely useful or functional. About the only use it has is for balance - and that is even SOMETIMES. I can't even make salaat on all of my limbs. Sitting back in jalsah is nearly impossible.
What use is my left leg?
It is the cause of constant excruciating pain, stiffness, burning, stinging, swelling ...
Of what use is it?
Well, all I can come up with is the each body part of mine will speak for or against me on the Last Day.
Will my left leg explain to my Lord that I was patient and tender with it? Will it tell my Lord about the times I cursed it out, lol, or wished ill of it?
So I try to remind myself that Allah swt tests me through this body and especially my left leg.
So my opinion Brother Yusuf? I would encourage a person to be patient in illness or any other hardship or trial.
I would recommend that the ill person become familiar with the signs of depression, and have a plan for dealing with it. I would also recommend that the person see a qualified pain management person. I myself go to a pain management doctor. All the medical and psychological strategies for pain we use manages to take the edge off, even though it doesn't remove the pain entirely.
I would remind the Muslim that "with every hardship comes ease" even if it's in another area, not necessarily the health area.
I would remind the person that every pain expiates sin. It also evevates the Muslim in ranks, and purifies his heart.
The Sahabah (ra) were well aware of the benefits and rewards of illness, so much that some of them wished for illness. The Prophet (saw) had to warn them against asking for illness!
So I would in the end implore Allah swt to allow me to care for myself the best I can so I do not emotionally progress to the point where I may think or suicide, or cause my body to be a trial for my family and friends.
But at the end of the day, although I don't agree, I can undersand how a person could be in so much pain that they would wish for death.
I'm just glad that I'm Muslim, Alhamdulillah, and as in all major areas of my life, I have Qur'an and Sunnah in my life for guidance in all of my affairs.
"As-Salaamu 'alaikum,
Have you been following the Lynn Gilderdale story here in the UK? It was about a woman who committed suicide (with her mother's help) after suffering for 17 years with ME (no, not MS). She'd been ill since she was 14 and had been bed-bound for almost all of that time. The mother was accused of attempted murder but was acquitted last week, and there has been a lot of public sympathy (although some criticism as well).
Has it received much coverage in the USA? I posted two long entries about it as, although I know nobody who has that illness, I found it affected me quite deeply, particularly reading the published extracts from her blog (which was mostly private).
Do you have any opinion on this? I know there have been some with MS who are quite vocal in support of euthanasia, particularly here in the UK; is this quite widespread or is it a few people given disproportionate coverage?"
Wa Alaikum As Salaam Dear Brother Yusuf and Everyone:
To my knowledge, this case hasn't received a lot of coverage in the US. Of course, we have had similar cases here, and there are Americans who believe that people should be able to die with "dignity" when, where, and how they choose.
You may be familiar with Dr. Jack Kevorkian, also known as the notorious "Dr. Death."
In the US, they are referred to as "right-to-die activists" and in the case of Dr. Kevorkian, "physician-assisted suicide." I'm not sure or aware of the position of the MS community.
Some people feel that the medical profession should help terminally ill patients and their families so there will not be tragic and sad cases such as the one you wrote about.
As for me personally, and my position, my life is guided in all matters by Islam, Alhamdulillah. Islam does not permit a person to wish for death, nor does Islam permit the ill person to kill himself. Further, Islam doesn't permit anyone else to do it either, including the Muslim patient's physician.
It is Allah swt Who gives life and causes death.
However, there are cases where it is Islamically permissible for a physician to remove the life-support system of a Muslim, after the physician is absolutely sure that the person is "dead." Dr. Muhammad al-Jibaly explains the details very nicely in his book, Sickness: Regulations & Exhortations, 2nd Edition. I recommend every Muslim to have this excellent book on his bookshelf, may Allah swt reward Sheikh Jibaly/Ameen.
That being said ...
I can definitely understand how a person, including a Muslim, would reach the point in his illness, whether it be a brief illness or chronic one, wherein the person would want to end his life and his suffering.
I have numerous health problems which affect my back and legs, particularly my left leg. The problems are complicated by overall MS and Arthritis. I have severe varicosity, Schamberg's disease, a back injury, peripheral neuropathy, and Restless Leg Syndrome. I also have a Baker's cyst behind my left knee which does not want to leave me (they say they dissolve by themselves, Allahu Alim). MS causes me to have severe balance issues, pain, and mental confusion. At times it affects my eyesight. I have slight tremors that make fine motor skills a nightmare. Arthritis causes severe pain and stiffness. I live with these illnesses as well as a lifelong heart valve problem and asthma one day at a time.
But there have been times where I have been severely depressed. Chronic health problems and pain can cause depression. Because I am a retired counselor, I am able to recognize when I am becoming depressed, and I do things to snap myself out of it. It is important to mention that this depression is not the same as chemical imbalance depression seen in some psychiatric disorders. However, if the human brain lives with depression or anxiety long enough, the brain will become changed because the brain tends to be an adaptogenic body part in certain cases. The challenge is not to let depression progress to the point of no return where someone may have feelings of suicide, and where the person cannot recognize that he is depressed.
Back to my left leg ...
The other day I saw a program on National Geographic called Taboo. In the particular episode I saw, they highlighted a problem that some people have which is a kind of body dysmorphic illness, but in this case, the person has issues with a limb or limbs. The one guy profiled felt since childhood that his right leg was not a part of his body. He had strong negative feelings about his right leg to the point it negatively affected all the major areas of his life. He was a very unhappy camper. Since most physicians and psychiatrists are not willing to recommend amputation for this condition on what they perceive to be ethical and moral grounds, many sufferers do something to injure the limb to the point where IT HAS TO BE AMPUTATED. Some people have gone as far as to shoot themselves in the leg or attempt to chop their own leg off, etc. Can you imagine?
(Funny how physicians have no ethical or moral problems amputating a man's penis because he feels like he is a woman. Anyhow, I digress ...)
But I found myself oddly relating to the man in the program. I thought of my own left leg. I found myself agreeing with the man. There have been times I have felt like I didn't want my left leg. Oh how nice it would be to have it gone sometimes!
What good is my left leg? After all, it is barely useful or functional. About the only use it has is for balance - and that is even SOMETIMES. I can't even make salaat on all of my limbs. Sitting back in jalsah is nearly impossible.
What use is my left leg?
It is the cause of constant excruciating pain, stiffness, burning, stinging, swelling ...
Of what use is it?
Well, all I can come up with is the each body part of mine will speak for or against me on the Last Day.
Will my left leg explain to my Lord that I was patient and tender with it? Will it tell my Lord about the times I cursed it out, lol, or wished ill of it?
So I try to remind myself that Allah swt tests me through this body and especially my left leg.
So my opinion Brother Yusuf? I would encourage a person to be patient in illness or any other hardship or trial.
I would recommend that the ill person become familiar with the signs of depression, and have a plan for dealing with it. I would also recommend that the person see a qualified pain management person. I myself go to a pain management doctor. All the medical and psychological strategies for pain we use manages to take the edge off, even though it doesn't remove the pain entirely.
I would remind the Muslim that "with every hardship comes ease" even if it's in another area, not necessarily the health area.
I would remind the person that every pain expiates sin. It also evevates the Muslim in ranks, and purifies his heart.
The Sahabah (ra) were well aware of the benefits and rewards of illness, so much that some of them wished for illness. The Prophet (saw) had to warn them against asking for illness!
So I would in the end implore Allah swt to allow me to care for myself the best I can so I do not emotionally progress to the point where I may think or suicide, or cause my body to be a trial for my family and friends.
But at the end of the day, although I don't agree, I can undersand how a person could be in so much pain that they would wish for death.
I'm just glad that I'm Muslim, Alhamdulillah, and as in all major areas of my life, I have Qur'an and Sunnah in my life for guidance in all of my affairs.
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Gardening Fever
Just got these today!No more wet, muddy socks after I'm done in the garden.
I can't wait to wear them; they look so bright, Masha Allah.
SabiWabi, eat your heart out, lol.
Monday, February 01, 2010
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished? Or Child Trafficking?
I have been viewing with interest the news reports about the American Baptists accused of child trafficking in Haiti.
The news reports and many people familiar with these kinds of situations who are writing online have been warning that groups may try to exploit the situation with the children in Haiti.
News reports state that the parents of some of the children "gave" the kids to the Baptists. That they agreed for them to take the children to the Dominican Republic for a "better life." Reports say that many of the older children didn't want to go, and that they cried and objected loudly. What child wants to leave their family?
Allahu Alim.
While some of us may think it horrid that a parent would agree to "give" a child away, in some cases that action may be a loving and unselfish one. News reports from Haiti claim that many children have been "given away" by their parents, and not always to a good situation. Some children live with people who use them as domestic servants without a care to their welfare. In other cases, parents give away children with good intentions, and the kids end up in bad hands.
When I was in Puerto Rico, it was not uncommon to know of numerous related and unrelated people living together and defining themselves as "family." I personally knew of one woman who "gave" her child to a relative, and the relative referred to the child as her daughter. The mother couldn't support the child.
A nightmare for the public assistance folks, lol.
Who knows?
I am not sticking up for the Baptists, but I think it's important to let this legally play out before we jump to conclusions.
Is this case one of "confusion" about procedure as the Baptists claim? Were they just trying to do good, and help?
Can you already hear that blogosphere blowing up with posts from people who vehemently object to white people adopting black or other non-white children?
Or better yet, are the Baptists being made an example and warning for would-be child traffickers from America or elsewhere?
If they are guilty, screw them, and let the full force of the law be upon them. But if they are not, let us not judge them harshly, as we Muslims have had others judge our intentions without the full facts.
What do you think?
The news reports and many people familiar with these kinds of situations who are writing online have been warning that groups may try to exploit the situation with the children in Haiti.
News reports state that the parents of some of the children "gave" the kids to the Baptists. That they agreed for them to take the children to the Dominican Republic for a "better life." Reports say that many of the older children didn't want to go, and that they cried and objected loudly. What child wants to leave their family?
Allahu Alim.
While some of us may think it horrid that a parent would agree to "give" a child away, in some cases that action may be a loving and unselfish one. News reports from Haiti claim that many children have been "given away" by their parents, and not always to a good situation. Some children live with people who use them as domestic servants without a care to their welfare. In other cases, parents give away children with good intentions, and the kids end up in bad hands.
When I was in Puerto Rico, it was not uncommon to know of numerous related and unrelated people living together and defining themselves as "family." I personally knew of one woman who "gave" her child to a relative, and the relative referred to the child as her daughter. The mother couldn't support the child.
A nightmare for the public assistance folks, lol.
Who knows?
I am not sticking up for the Baptists, but I think it's important to let this legally play out before we jump to conclusions.
Is this case one of "confusion" about procedure as the Baptists claim? Were they just trying to do good, and help?
Can you already hear that blogosphere blowing up with posts from people who vehemently object to white people adopting black or other non-white children?
Or better yet, are the Baptists being made an example and warning for would-be child traffickers from America or elsewhere?
If they are guilty, screw them, and let the full force of the law be upon them. But if they are not, let us not judge them harshly, as we Muslims have had others judge our intentions without the full facts.
What do you think?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Racism and Ethnic Intimidation: Still Alive and Well at Denny's Restaurant?
(Above image at http://www.angryasianman.com)This morning I went for routine fasting blood work at my doctor's office. It was 7:30 a.m. I also had an appointment scheduled for 9:00 a.m. at my doctor's travel clinic.
After I got the blood work done, I drove over to the local Denny's restaurant for breakfast and to wait for my 9:00 a.m. appointment.
When I arrived at Denny's, no one greeted me despite the fact that at least two female staff persons saw me. They walked right past me and gave me a look that suggested that they hate their jobs, or hate to get up early in the morning. Maybe both :)
So, I made my way to a table, took off my coat, and plopped down my purse, Blackberry, and notebook. I figured I'd get some work done while I was eating and waiting for the second doctor's appointment.
There was one other white lady sitting in the tables section. At the counter, there were about four or five elderly white men.
I saw at least 4 or 5 female staff. The restaurant was not full or busy at all.
After sitting a few moments, I decided to move to a more comfortable table. So, I moved to the section near the counters, still at a table.
I must have sat for at least 10 minutes and no one came to give me anything or even say hello. Ten minutes is not a long time, but it is when the restaurant is not full or busy. Trust me, there was no excuse.
The waitresses did see me because one or two walked past me and looked at me.
Then a white man came in and sat two tables in front of me. After a few moments, I looked up and saw that the waitress had brought him a glass of water with a lemon in it.
Waitresses were walking around doing things like wiping tables, re-filling coffee cups at the counter, and otherwise busying themselves in the back.
Still, no one came over to me. A waitress or two made eye contact with me, but still nothing. Not even a glass of water, or "I'll be back in a moment."
It was clear to me that these people intended not to serve me.
If I would have had more time, I would have said something because I am the type of person who highly values service. If someone gives me bad service, I will leave. And I will not give that business my money again.
And - more importantly, I know me: if I would have gotten pissed off enough, I would have made a scene. I do not believe in making scenes in public for a variety of reasons, but mainly, I try to never do anything in public that reflects poorly on Islam or Muslims. My blood pressure was sky high when I returned to the doctor's office.
I simply picked up my things (while they watched out of the sides of their eyes) and left the restaurant. I was too offended and upset to say anything to the manager. They didn't even care enough to say anything to me on my way out, "have a nice day," "oh, do you have to leave?" or anything like that.
What could possibly be the reason for them treating me like this?
Well, I am a Muslim women who wears hijab. Even though I am a white person like the other customers, some white people think that we lose our "white privilege" when we become Muslims and outwardly look Muslim (i.e., hijab, niqab, beards, sunnah clothing, etc.). I am ethnically Jewish and have a semitic look to me. Even Arabs on occasion have spoken to me in Arabic upon meeting me for the first time!
Did the staff at Denny's think I was "other" than the traditional white American?
I am not usually the type to complain about ethnic intimidation or religious discrimination based on purely being a Muslim. I have been a Muslim since 1998, Alhamdulillah, and can barely count on one hand the times I have been harassed for being Muslim, Masha Allah. I acknowledge that others have not had it so good though.
I came home ready to write about this. When I "googled" Denny's and racism, I was floored by what the search engine provided to me.
The University of Wisconsin School of Business did a study about Denny's and their history with racism and ethnic intimidation that sums it up nicely.
I'm not sure how far I'm going to take this, but I'm going to definitely "take it" a few places.
Firstly, I made sure I grabbed a customer satisfaction survey on my way out. I will mail it to the restaurant AND to the corporate Denny's. I will also send them a link to this post. And I will link this post to my Face Book.
I will not be treated like this by a local business.
Anyone have any other ideas?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Haiti: Ya Allah ...
As a person with Jewish heritage, the media images of the treatment of the bodies of deceased Haitians just sickens me.
Bodies in piles - bulldozers scooping up dead bodies, loading them into dump trucks, just dropping them at a mass grave site on the outskirts of Port-au-Prince, just leaving them there, not evening bothering to "bury" them by at least pushing dirt over their bodies ...
It reminds me of pictures from the Holocaust. At least the Nazis covered the shame of their mass graves.
And today - seeing the police TEAR GASING hungry starving people!
It's all just too much ... and I'm not even living it like the Haitians are ...
Bodies in piles - bulldozers scooping up dead bodies, loading them into dump trucks, just dropping them at a mass grave site on the outskirts of Port-au-Prince, just leaving them there, not evening bothering to "bury" them by at least pushing dirt over their bodies ...
It reminds me of pictures from the Holocaust. At least the Nazis covered the shame of their mass graves.
And today - seeing the police TEAR GASING hungry starving people!
It's all just too much ... and I'm not even living it like the Haitians are ...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Squeeze of the Grave
Online and television images bombard the eyes with the horrific situation in Haiti after the earthquake.
Large slabs of cement can be seen everywhere in the capital city of Port-au-Prince. And many people are underneath them.
One image was particularly disturbing: it was some video that was shot moments after the earthquake hit. You could see people sticking their arms out, waving for help, from underneath collapsed buildings.
People entombed alive waiting for help. Squeezed ...
Seeing this brings thoughts to my mind of the squeeze of the grave.
The squeeze of the grave occurs after the deceased Muslim hears the thumping of his companions' shoes as they walk away from his grave.
No one is spared it. Neither Muslim or non-Muslim.
Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (rahimullah) said that the torment, squeezing, and terror that happens in the grave are things by means of which sins are expiated (Majmoo' Fataawa ibn Taymiyah, vol. 7, p. 487-501). (Islam-qa.com)
In his book, Life in Al-Barzakh, Muhammad al-Jibaly states:
"No human being will be spared the squeeze of the grave. However, the following hadith indicates that it is not at the same degree of severity for all people; some of the believers are released from its grip quicker than others. Ibn 'Abbas (ra) said that Allah's Messenger (saw) said:
'If anyone were to escape from the squeeze of the grave, it woud be Sa'd Bin Mu'ath; however, he was squeezed once and then released.' (At-Tabarani in al-Kabir; Sahih ul-Jami by al-Albani No. 5306)'"
Have the earthquaker victims of Haiti already had their squeeze?
May Allah (swt) spare the earthquaker victims of Haiti from excessive torment in the grave and grant them a quick squeeze/Ameen.
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