We all did. Any of us who are recovering addicts or who love addicts know that if he/she doesn't get into recovery, one day we will find out that the disease of addiction has claimed them.
I knew one day addiction would kill Amy Winehouse.
Addiction kills: ... overdose, HIV/AIDS, murder, liver disease, stomach disease, suicide ... the list of how we die goes on and on.
So it was with great sadness that I listened to the details on TV of how Amy Winehouse was found dead in her apartment. They've done an autopsy, but ...
I felt a great kinship to Amy Winehouse. Mainly because she was Jewish and an addict. Statistics claim that the rate of addiction among Jews is very low.
I remember once going to a recovery gathering in West Palm Beach, Florida. I was visiting my grandparents at the time and as was my habit, I sought out recovering people wherever I traveled. It was so funny. Us Jews in the room recognized each other right away. We were all looking at each other like, "Hey, we're not supposed to be here!"
But meeting other Jewish addicts probably helped us not to feel so isolated and like a freak in our Jewish communities.
Yes, I know plenty of Jewish addicts.
And Amy Winehouse's death reminded me of one Jewish addict I was very close to in particular. Amy's death washed fresh waves of grief over my heart and made me take a trip down memory lane to think of my friend, Leslie, of blessed memory.
Yes, Leslie, is dead, too.
She even looked a lot like Amy Winehouse. Or maybe Amy looked like Leslie, lol. The hair, the tattos, the slim frame. This picture was taken when we vacationed in Puerto Rico together. Leslie was so crazy about butterflies that she tattoed them all over her body. She was so happy when we visited the Butterfly Gallery in San Juan:
Leslie had another chronic disease, one that is ultimately fatal. She found out very early in her recovery and she stayed clean and sober for over 10 years, serving as a model and example for others that anyone can stay clean no matter what. And this was very early in the days of this particular disease. We didn't have the treatment and medications we have now that help people live a long long time. In Leslie's time, one's days were numbered.
She was a substance abuse counselor in a treatment center where I was working, and that's where I met her. We had close friends in common and we hit it off right away. She was a great lady, full of fun, always doing something, and always going somewhere. She was in a relationship with a great guy. Those were the days one puts in the bank.
Years later, Leslie started to get sick. Her lab work wasn't good, and she felt a lot of fear. To make a long story short, she relapsed and started to use drugs again. The addiction was back in full swing and it exacerbated her "other disease."
Leslie was back to reckless and self-destructive behavior. No one could help her. She wouldn't listen to any of us.
Like Amy Winehouse, Leslie was found dead in her apartment. I still think about her a lot, and still love her.
At her funeral, we released butterflies.
Next year Insha Allaah, I will be clean 30 years. This is the first time I've "come out" online about my own addiction. To people who know me personally and professionally, it's no secret that I'm a recovering addict.
Maybe now that I'm out I can write more about Islaam and addiction!
In the meantime, if you know anyone who is suffering with the disease of addiction, get them help. Don't stop trying. No matter how much they resist your efforts and push you away.
I wish I would have tried harder to help Leslie.
