Comments on Shaalom 2 Salaam: A Muslimah's Journey Along the Way From Judaism to Islam: Fitnabook

You did nothing wrong InshaAllah. I believe that t...

2012-02-08T04:04:58.946-05:00

You did nothing wrong InshaAllah. I believe that the way u comment on the note for all the 'involved' parties to read was correct. Coz they all did it (talking about husbands, talking a bit nasty etc). They need to be told about it together in hope that someone else might realize the mistake and concur with ur naseeha, publicly. But the problem is they looked at it as if u're talking ONLY about the sister that wrote about her problem.

Don't worry sis. InshaAllah u have spoken about the truth and Allah will help to give hedayat to them. We could only give naseeha, but its up to Allah to grant the hedayat.

Asalamu Alaykom, You need some new friends! Come...

2011-12-20T12:18:39.046-05:00

Asalamu Alaykom,

You need some new friends!

Come play with me instead! :)

I don't care what your name is.

I sometimes use the F-word but I really try not to and together we can encourage each other to keep clean even amidst Fitnah.

I laughed at some of the post and grimaced at other parts. All in all, I feel like I've been there/done that---and very recently in fact!

Many sisters ask others for "support" which means they want you to continue feeding into their attention-getting ways. I might have been one of these ladies during the break up of my marriage. It's a VERY SAD time and no person can ever help us during this time. It's an "Allah Only" moment but we resist turning to Him because then we have to stop being mad and allow ourselves to be weak.

I really WOW really love what Bosnish recounted from that khotbah she heard. I might reprint that (with credit) on my blog. It's so simple and true.

As for your words to the sister: it didn't work. It didn't work. You wrote (and Allahu alim whether or not your intentions were pure). You were read AND you were hated. That sucks! It's really sad to spend your time and energy and be dissed left and right. Maybe you didn't say it all the way you should have. Maybe! I don't know. Think if you could have done something better. Think! If you could have done something better and you wish to appologize to a person or a group then do so without delay. If you feel that you gave your all and no appologies, then pray to God to forgive you anything which you're unaware of AND MOVE ON. Move on with a jaunty step from those people who don't understand you. There are many, many more who are waiting to be your friend :)

Love and Light!

I can understand someone becoming defensive, its a...

2011-12-06T11:57:12.599-05:00

I can understand someone becoming defensive, its a natural instinct. I don't agree with how all the sisters reacted however. You called her a queen, called her to Allah Subhana wa'tala. But remember she could also very well be incredibly depressed and not acting herself. As for those other sisters, they have no reason.

PS. what a great title - Fitnabook!

2011-12-04T13:01:33.424-05:00

PS. what a great title - Fitnabook!

Salaams sister, I agree with all three options - ...

2011-12-04T12:55:59.639-05:00

Salaams sister,

I agree with all three options - 1) staying silent 2) giving the reply you have given, public, but visible only to original group and 3) giving a private message.

Personally I would prefer option 3 as option 2 puts everyone on the defensive. However, sometimes, after lashing out as your 'friends' have done, they may have a twinge of regret and rethink their actions.

I like the private reminder option as then the recipient does not have to defend himself or herself in front of others.

Wow. I probably would have been of those girls who...

2011-12-01T15:45:11.409-05:00

Wow. I probably would have been of those girls who would act that way (though i would never question your muslimness) but after reading your response it really struck home. No, you were right, and I think you did it with such tact (that lacks in others who try to give advice) that it moved at least me to re-evaluate what I say on FB.

Thanks for this post.

I don't think you did anything wrong. Althou...

2011-12-01T11:17:23.521-05:00

I don't think you did anything wrong.

Although I did not like F word on your blog.

Being muslim I think we should try to focus on and...

2011-11-30T22:52:28.908-05:00

Being muslim I think we should try to focus on and learn our lessons from Quran and Sunnah.These sisters should remember that
“The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by their strength, but the strong is the one who controls themselves while in anger.”

assalamu alaikum sis, I agree with Bosnishmuslimah...

2011-11-30T22:47:30.815-05:00

assalamu alaikum sis,
I agree with Bosnishmuslimah.

"Why is it when you remind some sisters about Allaah (swt) they jump all over you and accuse you of being judgmental, or worse yet, attack you?"

I have experienced this myself, I know how hard it feels when people we want to help sincerely react that way.

Assalamu alaikum sister, I think you are complete...

2011-11-30T18:12:08.449-05:00

Assalamu alaikum sister,

I think you are completely right in your opinion. But I think it would have been better to approach her via private message.

I think it is really a bottom drawer to let these private things openly just on facebook : /

This post made me think of a beautifull hutba I have heard someday at Jummah concerning divorce and the islamic rules of behaviour.
The imam explained the ayah where Allah swt. is describing the spouses as garments being for each other. And when you get divorce you are losing your garment and you are left naked in front of your ex. What means this person you shared your life with know almost everything about you and thereby has this power over you. So we should care much, not to reveal anything of the person and let him/her be naked infront of others. Subhanallah!

In this case I can only regive the hadith, that if you do not have anything beneficial to say, rather to stay silent.

Unfortunately people do not reflect and as you told before, when someone is in pain, it is easy to lose control.

I think your advice will make her even think about it and inshaallah she will learn from it, even she has reacted this way.
Truth hurts sometimes...